Well it has been a while so let’s do this in retrospect: Always the best way to do things anyway.
So when I last wrote it was in Ireland. Boy that was such a while ago – so much has happened and its not that I didn’t want to write it, rather I felt I might not be able to stop or that I might hurt someone’s feelings. Someone recently said that just because we write about a situation doesn’t mean that it has to be so obvious what you are referring to so here goes…
Sunday 16th July – we went to explore Killarney town as the girls had seen a carnival in town. They got bikes for the day and I declined as I thought walking might be better for me.
Big mistake! I walked for miles all alone as they tended to ride ahead. It was a fantastic day as the girls spent their £10 in couple hours. We had agreed before we got to Ireland that I would give them each £10 every 3 days so that they need not bother me for sweets and such! God we had so much fun. We headed back to hostel at 7pmish. We had literally spent all day at the carnival. It was wonderful to spend the time just observing the girls.
Monday 17th – Wednesday 19th July – these three days kind of blend for me cause all we did was seeing more of Killarney. We did a tour of Ring of Kerry – would not recommend this the way we did it. We were cooped up in a couch for the better part off the whole day. We had scheduled stops but only for 10-15mins each time. At the end of the tour one lady came up to me and said “you’re a wonderful mother”. I looked her right in the eyes and said “thank you. I do try”!!!! Was she blind do you think or do I just look old enough to be the mother of a 15 and 11 year old girls?! I normally get asked for ID at cinemas for 15 certificate films!
Thursday 20th – Friday 21st July – AD and HD seemed to spend most of the time arguing and I seemed to be NATO to their US and Iraq!!! For all the good it did me anyways. Sometimes they seemed to really get on and at other times they seemed ready to kill each. They are both really mature for their age when they are apart but put them together and you get two 5 year olds! They are also so sarcastic and both have such quick wit. I think they are far too much alike. There are so many problems with extended family especially second marriages and children always seem to be the victims of this. Why is it adults never consider the consequence of what they are doing. What happened to not having favourites and especially not showing it?
I would rather die a thousand deaths than let any of my children see this (I don’t yet have any by the way – talking bout the future ones God willing).
Saturday 22nd July – we woke early and basically packed and got our train back to Dublin and home to HD’s mummy. While we had been in Killarney I had had the responsibility for the girls but once I stepped into Dublin I was myself a kid. I hated feeling like that – I don’t even feel like that at home in Manchester. It was just the effect my Aunt had on me. In Killarney I woke the girls for Dawn prayer 5 out of 8 days. Not bad as I am normally really bad for waking for the Dawn prayer.
While at the hostel the girls really immersed themselves with the locals and talked to anyone. The people seemed to love talking to them and there I sat just watching most of the time. The only time I had a discussion/chat was with a French couple and a Danish guy. Picture the scene – we are sat watching a sunset and watching some kids playing football. We start talking and we obviously get around to the subject of religion. It turns out the Danish dude is an “atheist searching for a true believe system”! It also came round the need for the scarf. The French couple (they looked really young maybe 20’s but I am a bad judge of age) said it personal choice and I said no “it’s like prayer it’s been prescribed by Allah”. That really seemed to end the conversation. Why is it that everyone seems to be happy when you say that you CHOSE to do something but say that it’s part of your RELIGION and they all seem to be sorry for you? Why???? I made the choice to follow my religion!
We got back to Dublin and we were visited by my Aunts family. Everyone seemed to want to see the kids from the “other wife”!! I am not being fair here but who gives a toss. This is how I felt at the time. Like I was on display and my name plate read “Eldest Child from First Wife”. The best time I had was the Tuesday we headed back to Manchester not meaning because we were heading home but because my Aunt took us to the beach and I got to sit and just relax without having to make an effort to have a normal conversation. It’s so hard to concentrate on a mundane conversation when so much is flying through your mind?
Anyway, we got to Manchester and missed the Tuesday circle. Forgot to call my Aunt to let her know we had got home okay. Got a telling off from my dad for it. I felt really angry and disappointed. My Aunt had rang us at least once a day while we were in Killarney and I never once rang her. Why couldn’t she just ring me? She rang all the time I was planning this trip. Why not since my return? I have decided to not ring either. I sent a letter to HD telling her what’s been happening since my return but no communication between me and my Aunt. Every few days/weeks my dad will ask why I have not rang and I say I will InshaAllah. I always mean it so it’s not a lie. I will ring. When I am ready!
Enough about Ireland!
Next Italy...Hopefully I will also be able to upload some pictures from both trips InshaAllah.
So when I last wrote it was in Ireland. Boy that was such a while ago – so much has happened and its not that I didn’t want to write it, rather I felt I might not be able to stop or that I might hurt someone’s feelings. Someone recently said that just because we write about a situation doesn’t mean that it has to be so obvious what you are referring to so here goes…
Sunday 16th July – we went to explore Killarney town as the girls had seen a carnival in town. They got bikes for the day and I declined as I thought walking might be better for me.
Big mistake! I walked for miles all alone as they tended to ride ahead. It was a fantastic day as the girls spent their £10 in couple hours. We had agreed before we got to Ireland that I would give them each £10 every 3 days so that they need not bother me for sweets and such! God we had so much fun. We headed back to hostel at 7pmish. We had literally spent all day at the carnival. It was wonderful to spend the time just observing the girls.
Monday 17th – Wednesday 19th July – these three days kind of blend for me cause all we did was seeing more of Killarney. We did a tour of Ring of Kerry – would not recommend this the way we did it. We were cooped up in a couch for the better part off the whole day. We had scheduled stops but only for 10-15mins each time. At the end of the tour one lady came up to me and said “you’re a wonderful mother”. I looked her right in the eyes and said “thank you. I do try”!!!! Was she blind do you think or do I just look old enough to be the mother of a 15 and 11 year old girls?! I normally get asked for ID at cinemas for 15 certificate films!
Thursday 20th – Friday 21st July – AD and HD seemed to spend most of the time arguing and I seemed to be NATO to their US and Iraq!!! For all the good it did me anyways. Sometimes they seemed to really get on and at other times they seemed ready to kill each. They are both really mature for their age when they are apart but put them together and you get two 5 year olds! They are also so sarcastic and both have such quick wit. I think they are far too much alike. There are so many problems with extended family especially second marriages and children always seem to be the victims of this. Why is it adults never consider the consequence of what they are doing. What happened to not having favourites and especially not showing it?
I would rather die a thousand deaths than let any of my children see this (I don’t yet have any by the way – talking bout the future ones God willing).
Saturday 22nd July – we woke early and basically packed and got our train back to Dublin and home to HD’s mummy. While we had been in Killarney I had had the responsibility for the girls but once I stepped into Dublin I was myself a kid. I hated feeling like that – I don’t even feel like that at home in Manchester. It was just the effect my Aunt had on me. In Killarney I woke the girls for Dawn prayer 5 out of 8 days. Not bad as I am normally really bad for waking for the Dawn prayer.
While at the hostel the girls really immersed themselves with the locals and talked to anyone. The people seemed to love talking to them and there I sat just watching most of the time. The only time I had a discussion/chat was with a French couple and a Danish guy. Picture the scene – we are sat watching a sunset and watching some kids playing football. We start talking and we obviously get around to the subject of religion. It turns out the Danish dude is an “atheist searching for a true believe system”! It also came round the need for the scarf. The French couple (they looked really young maybe 20’s but I am a bad judge of age) said it personal choice and I said no “it’s like prayer it’s been prescribed by Allah”. That really seemed to end the conversation. Why is it that everyone seems to be happy when you say that you CHOSE to do something but say that it’s part of your RELIGION and they all seem to be sorry for you? Why???? I made the choice to follow my religion!
We got back to Dublin and we were visited by my Aunts family. Everyone seemed to want to see the kids from the “other wife”!! I am not being fair here but who gives a toss. This is how I felt at the time. Like I was on display and my name plate read “Eldest Child from First Wife”. The best time I had was the Tuesday we headed back to Manchester not meaning because we were heading home but because my Aunt took us to the beach and I got to sit and just relax without having to make an effort to have a normal conversation. It’s so hard to concentrate on a mundane conversation when so much is flying through your mind?
Anyway, we got to Manchester and missed the Tuesday circle. Forgot to call my Aunt to let her know we had got home okay. Got a telling off from my dad for it. I felt really angry and disappointed. My Aunt had rang us at least once a day while we were in Killarney and I never once rang her. Why couldn’t she just ring me? She rang all the time I was planning this trip. Why not since my return? I have decided to not ring either. I sent a letter to HD telling her what’s been happening since my return but no communication between me and my Aunt. Every few days/weeks my dad will ask why I have not rang and I say I will InshaAllah. I always mean it so it’s not a lie. I will ring. When I am ready!
Enough about Ireland!
Next Italy...Hopefully I will also be able to upload some pictures from both trips InshaAllah.
posted by Ever The Idealist at
6:52 pm
6 Comments:
Prais the lord!!! AD blogged!!
sweety, i think you should call your aunty...she is older
DNT care.
Sweety be the better person. You might actually make her think as to why she doesnt call you and you do.
Either way...at the end of the day she is your sista's mum and that makes her family.......that atleast warrants something right?
You knw we can't chose our family so just to hack it...exercise a lil bit of patience and forgiveness... :)
yipee ad has blogged lets celebrate and bring out the non alcoholic drinks.
enjoyed reading your bit on irelnad bout time sis, the kinds i'm sure had a brill time, they may fight but then 2 seconds later there the best of friends thats what its like with kids i wish as adults we could learn from them.
i propose you ring your aunt and tell her in a polite way whats running through your mind, and how maybe 'silly it sounds but that your human at the end of the day and it kinda hurt that she blah blah blah cause at the end of the day you love her etc.. etc..
inshallah she will realise and then you could both laugh about it ha ha ha,
some times the best thing is to let it out to the person, try it sis
don't listen to all these goody 2 shoes, candy floss vanilla girls.
stick to your guns. call when you want to call and when u feel like calling.
you may respect her, you may like her doesn't mean you have to love her.
she is older then your, ergo she should be wiser, so why did does she not rectify the situation?
as a child from the first wife, been there done that seen it all.
except my dad never dared telling me off. he would have had to deal with my ma. hehehehehe
am glad i saw you tonight and u wholeheartedly agreed with me. byt he way all u reading out there i'm selling tickets for MAB iftari for 29th Sept at Nawaabs. i'm expecting you all, yes ETI,MD, Native Female, NEMO, Queen Nefertiti, ifra, Fardowsa, WA, Hana A, etc to get ur tickets off ME!!
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