All the years...

Got to think about where life is heading. Got to thinking today while talking to a student that while we always think ourselves young and with it, we are in reality growing older and getting so far removed from things than we ever think! Life is funny that way. I look at the students day in and day out and think to myself "why are you guys doing this to yourselves?" are they nuts or is it me getting jaded without knowing it?

I am well into my quarter of century of life and I have no idea what I have done so far. Nothing other than faith seems to last. Family is changing everyday as am I always. Work and friends evolve and although some stay constant in some ways they still change on you. I am just caught up with one change when something else creeps up.

I am been put in a position at the moment where I have to make a decision about my life. I have prayed Istikhara almost after every salah. I am comfortable with the decision I am about to make but not certain without a shadow of a doubt. I have involved parents and friends and as much as they have advised they are leaving me to make this decision. I like the way they have advised and ultimately it is my decision and I understand that you can't know everything and you have to make some decisions on a little bit of knowledge and lots of faith but I am afraid. I am terrified of making a mistake. What happens if I jump in or even if I hesitate and things don't work out? Where does that leave me?

On a nice note I have finished the book I was reading (The Book of Lost Things) and I have to say I am so pleased with it. I have never read such a satisfying ending as this end. It was glorious. For once I did not have to embellish the ending to satisfy me. Its just brilliant. I am gonna start on another John Connolly book soon IA Ameen.